Do Amish Marry Outside Their Community?
"Can Amish Marry Non-Amish?" The short answer is "No, a member of the Amish church will not marry anyone outside the Amish community."
In the beautiful landscapes of Lancaster County, Holmes County, and beyond, the Amish community thrives, preserving a rich cultural heritage rooted in tradition, faith, and simplicity.
One interesting question occasionally arises: Can Amish individuals marry those outside their tight-knit community? Let's take a moment to talk about this topic and explore the dynamics of love and marriage in the Amish world.
Understanding Amish Culture
The Amish lifestyle is founded on faith, family, and community. Traditional values, passed down through generations, shape the way Amish families live, work, and build relationships.
The Amish are known for their commitment to a simple, hardworking life, emphasizing strong family bonds and a devout Christian belief system. They are determined to keep their heritage and traditions alive.
Do Amish Date Outsiders?
While most Amish youth are allowed to interact with non-Amish people, their connections with them are limited.
The Amish take courtship seriously, seeking a life partner for starting a family. Young people meet and get to know each other at church and youth group events. Marriage is sacred to them, and they typically date within their Amish communities.
While it's rare, there have been instances of Amish dating outsiders, but it's uncommon since marriage between Amish and non-Amish individuals is forbidden.
Amish Courtship
Amish young men usually start looking for a spouse in their teens and early twenties. The process involves going to Sunday evening singings, and after these events, Amish boys might ask a girl if he can take her home for a date.
The young couple has most of their dates at the girls' home. They attend church and youth gatherings and follow the traditional dating customs unique to their culture.
I wrote about Amish Rumspringa and Dating in another post, and you can find that by clicking here.
Wedding Traditions
Amish weddings are a joyous occasion, celebrated with a church service and a wedding ceremony. The bride's parents plan the wedding and prepare a hearty wedding feast.
Amish couples enjoy their wedding day with family and friends, visiting, singing, and enjoying lots of good food together. They spend the first night, as well as the next few weeks, at the bride's home. The next morning they are up early to help clean up again.
There's no honeymoon, and they often wait to move into their own house until a few months after the wedding.
The newlywed couple will soon start raising a family of their own, contributing to the growth of the tight-knit community.
You can learn more about Amish Wedding Customs and Traditions here.
Amish Marriage Rules
The Amish are not allowed to marry anyone outside of their own kind of people. They take this rule from 2 Corinthians 6:14, where it says, "Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers."
Amish are also forbidden to divorce and remarry. Several verses in the Bible talk about this subject. Matthew 5:32 "Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." Other verses are Matthew 19:9, Luke 16:18, Ephesians 5:31.
They take these Scriptures very seriously and believe it is a sin to get divorced. So Amish marriages are very committed to staying together for life. And I have found that you are a lot more likely to try and fix what's broken and make it work when you get married with that kind of commitment.
Some of them do not have a good marriage, but they still stay together. Occasionally, there are exceptions, and they will separate, but never remarry.
Members of the Amish Church
To get married as an Amish couple, both partners must be Amish church members. The Amish men and women have to be baptized into the church and share the same Amish faith.
An Amish bishop will not marry a couple if they are not church members.
(I shared about Amish baptism and becoming members of the church in another post.)
Can a Non-Amish Marry an Amish Person?
There are only two options for a non-Amish person to marry an Amish person. Either the non-Amish person has to become Amish, or the Amish person must leave the Amish church.
In other words, the only way for an outsider to marry an Amish person is to join the Amish or convince the Amish person to leave their community.
Do Amish Marry Mennonites?
Amish and Mennonites have similar religious backgrounds and lifestyles, but they don't intermingle very much.
If a Mennonite wants to marry an Amish person, they must follow the same steps: either become Amish or join the Mennonites together.
(Differences between the Amish and Mennonites can be found in another post.)
Do Ex-Amish Marry Non-Amish?
If a person leaves the Amish church, they are no longer under Amish rules and regulations. Therefore, they are free to marry whomever they want, and many ex-Amish get married to English people (Amish refer to outsiders as "English").
However, sometimes there can be challenges for an ex-Amish person when they get married to someone from a completely different background. The way we grow up often has a big influence on the way we think and do things, so there may be some cultural differences to work through.
Do Amish Ever Remarry?
Yes, many Amish widows or widowers get remarried. If their spouse dies, they are free to remarry.
In fact, it is very common for widows and widowers to get remarried even in their older age.
Why Do Amish Not Marry Outsiders?
The Amish take a firm stand against marrying outsiders, and their reasons for this are rooted in preserving their Amish way of life.
In today's modern society, where the breakdown of the family unit, premarital sex, and divorce are common, the Amish observe these issues with a renewed determination to preserve their traditions.
By embracing their values, and marrying within their community, the Amish attempt to protect their cultural heritage from the challenges of the outside world.
More About the Amish
If you enjoy reading about Amish customs and traditions, you might enjoy reading more of my articles about the Amish...
Why Don't Amish Men Have Mustaches?
Kathy Jordan
I love reading the amish inspirational romance books and I've learned alot of Pennsylvania Dutch words, why the different dialect? I'm fascinated by my love of interest in Amish life...I enjoyed reading just now about the beards and marriage, ty so much
Anna
I'm glad you are here!
Sherry Hays
I love reading and learning about the Amish way of life. I have many more of your articles to read, but time isn't permitting me to do so today. Thank you for sharing!
Anna
I'm so glad you enjoyed it!